Day 105. I am coming back to this post to add in a little disclaimer. Before I get into all the silly little ways that life has inconvenienced me, please know that I AM aware of how lucky I am. I have SO much; more than most. The info. I share on my homepage bears repeating…I have a nice home in a nice town, a hard-working partner, beautiful and healthy children. The list goes on and on and on. I AM LUCKY. I AM PRIVILEGED.
My page, and all of my platforms, have served as a place for honesty and humor. I apologize if any of the below, or any of my content, has upset anyone who has taken time to follow me. I am sorry if I seem insesitive. That is not my intention. in the slightest.
Yesterday my dog died. Someone hit her, killed her and left her in the middle of the road. And it SUCKS. It sucks for all the reasons one might think: the devastation of losing a pet, the physical feeling of her lifeless body, the anger about the asshole who hit her and ran. The hardest thing about it, though, was telling the kids. It’s unclear how much they really understand, but they do seem to ‘get’ that she’s not coming home.
The thing about kids, though, is that they’re resilient as fuck. After it happened, as the day went on, they’re just back to being kids. Kids who need me every second for something. And while I am happy they quickly resumed their roles as the neediest children on the block, I was still trying to process the whole dead dog thing.
What they don’t tell you about motherhood is that you ALWAYS come second. It doesn’t matter if you just had to scrape your dead dog off the pavement, put a damn smile on and play dollies. Take the kids to the farm. And the playground. And this is why adulting, and parenting, SUCK sometimes.
To lighten the post, I thought I’d list a few other ways in which I find adulting to be the absolute worst…
- Financial Responsibility. Seriously. How do we, the adults, survive? Everything is so expensive. The house, the cars, the cell phones, the cable, the internet, the preschool, the food…all of it. And, let’s not forget about the college tuition payments for degrees we’re not using.
- Homes. What the shit is this home ownership thing? Do you know what owning a house means?? It means yard work every damn weekend of your life and things breaking and flooding and leaking and having to fix all of it with your own damn money.
- Career. Oh good lord. You can’t win with this one. If you have what society defines as a strong ‘career’ that usually means you work too much and carry a lot of stress. If you don’t let work define you and carry a more organic job, get ready for criticism from every angle. Heaven forbid we carve our own paths in this messed up world.
- Kids. I LOVE mine, but nothing robs you of your identity like having children. And, as women, we have the added bonus of giving our bodies up for a LONG time. The pregnancy, the birth, the breastfeeding. My body was theirs for FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS. Four years of carrying, birthing or nursing someone. But the fun really begins when they’re earth-side, sleepless and leaning on you 24/7.
Adulting is constant responsibility. And that SUCKS.
I’m so sorry about the pup ! I have a dog and I love him more than my human family I think. Will you get another? It’s one of the best remedies for pet death I swear. I thought I should wait a year after doggie 1 died but nope I caved and got doggie 2 the next month and named him the same name and we all felt whole again quite soon. Xxoo
Losing the pup was, and continues to be, very difficult. We’re not ready for another just yet, but someday for sure. Thanks for writing. XO
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