Day 119. HEY YOU. You, who thinks ‘maybe’ they should quit or slow down their drinking. You, who reads my blog (and others) in secret ad feel like you relate to everything you see. You, who listens to recovery podcasts and nods along with each story and cries when the story tellers strike that wound that you too have been struggling with. You, who feels like you want to take the leap into sobriety but have NO idea how. This is for you.
Dear Sober Curious,
I see you. I understand you. I used to BE you.
I know what a vicious cycle you are in. I know how you want to quit, but can’t seem to. You wake up in the morning swearing to yourself that you won’t drink today but by the time the guilt, shame and hangover have worn off, you’re stopping at the liquor store on your way home- again.
I know the feeling of having to check your phone to see what damage you did the night before. The apologies that you have to hand out after a night of drinking are all too familiar to me.
You think that you can moderate, so you may start there. Or maybe you try to change everything and anything else in your life, convincing yourself that life will be better when you…….eat more kale, do more yoga, move, break up with your partner…..You’ll try those things. And you’ll still be struggling. Because the thing you need to let go of is alcohol.
I know you don’t want to be this way and when you think about it being your reality, tears fall down your cheeks.
I know you think that you CAN’T live without alcohol. HOW could you get through the summer, the holidays, your best friend’s wedding, etc.? How will you socialize? What will you do to socialize? You’re afraid you’ll be dull and life won’t be fun.
I had all of these fears too and they kept me drinking for far longer than I should have. But here’s what I want to tell you.
I want to tell you that you CAN live a life without alcohol. You WILL still have fun and have friends. (Your friend circle may shift, but that’s a blessing.) You’ll save money, lose weight and be present for your entire life. Colors are brighter and experiences are heightened. You’ll have space in your life for SO MUCH MORE adventure, love and creativity. Sobriety is such a gift. The grass is really greener over here.
And the community. GOOD LORD this community of sober women blows my mind everyday. I read their posts on social media, listen to their podcasts, go to their events, study their books and websites. These women are the most genuine, bad ass people on this planet. And they want to support YOU. How fucking great is that?
Sober Curious, I am not here to tell you what to do. I share this letter because if you relate to any of it, I know how much pain you’re in. Ultimately, your journey is YOURS, but please know that if you’re considering playing for this team, I’m here for you. I want this for you.
Everything you want out of life is on the other side of fear, honey.